When last I left you, dear friends, Blogger was having issues. Thank you Microsuck Windows 8.1 update that still doesn't include the START button, you rotten bastard ass liars!
Anyway, Momster and I were perched on the balcony looking down upon the lemmings ready to run to their demise.
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| Seriously weird stuff, yo! |
| Good times |
We fall asleep in London and wake up in Inverness. Yeah, woo! Ah... travelling by rail, such an elegant way to travel. Uh huh, well let me say this...PPPHHTTTT!!!!!
We found our way to our berth, cuz that's what it's called on a train. Sure, why not? So here is me... delusions of a stylized early 20th century experience where everything is made of plush materials and fancy dress. It was kinda like the first time I walked into a casino and instead of people dressed to the nines around a table shooting craps, I saw the 'dregs' sitting at slot machines in pajamas smoking cigs and drinking free beers. Talk about heartbreaking. Let me lay it out for you.
Instead of a state room like this:
We got this:
Oh yes, and bed belts. BED BELTS... I had to be belted into bed because I had the top bunk of course. BELTED IN. And what is in that little package? Well thank you for asking. That's a flannel that we're supposed to use to wash up with in this:
We sat there for an hour or so trying to get as much power as possible to my cell phone for pictures and my Nexus 7 for sanity. Mom then announced 'Whenever you're ready', and we all know what that means, so then we we off to bed.
Mmmm... tasty. Nothing like a stained sink with non-potable water to cleanse oneself.
Yes, I admit, I'm a southern girl, and we southerners are consumed with hygiene. One has to be in that kind of weather. But seriously, eeeeeeeewwwww. And... and I love this... communal toilets!
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| Yup, that's it. Our restroom. Us about 50 others. I don't know why I thought differently. Shame on me for that.
If all of that wasn't enough. It was cold. And not just a little cold. A shiver till you want to cry cold. Because mom was still dealing with being hot from residual fever, we had to turn off the thermostat in the berth. Ok, fine. Whatever. We dropped off our stuff and headed for the dining car.
The dining car was of particular interest to me. As it would be to any Murder on the Orient Express fan. Hell, it's where Hercule gets a good look at all the suspects. In my case, it was the only place on the train with an electrical outlet.
Not only was it the only place with an outlet. there was no internet on the train. NO INTERNET. Ok, if this were 1943 and we're on the Orient Express I could forgive that. But it isn't, it's 2013. CONNECTIVITY IS A REAL THING!
We get to the dining car, have a seat, order a drink and plug in.
I ordered Baily's, cuz why not? Mom had the usual Barcari and DC.
There were several people seated at the dining tables. They must have been real Scots, because whom else but a real Scot would order haggis with neeps and tatties on a train?
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| Mmmm... looks good doesn't it? |
For me, the thought of sleep was nothing but a joke. Besides the tights, cuddle duds, jeans and sweater I already had on, I put on another pair of sweats, wrapped my scarf around my head and put on gloves. GLOVES!!! I crawled into the top bunk and had mom drape both of our heavy coats over me.
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| Gloves. Not just for sleeping anymore. |
She changed into her nighty and crawled under the covers. Twenty minutes later, I was informed she had to go to the restroom. I had to unpeel myself from my cocoon and walk her down the hall. Upon returning, she was fast asleep- drifted away by the gentle rocking of the choo choo.
Edie Baby was later to express that this has been the highlight of the voyage so far. I'm pretty sure it had less to do with the restful slumber gifted by the clickity clack of the wheels, and more to do with the shivering whimpers from the top bunk. And you wonder where I get it?
And thus we find ourselves at the end of another day.
