EDIE-ISMS

There really is no sane way possible to explain half the crap that escapes my mom's mouth.
Instead, I decided to have a blog post dedicated just to the bizarre things she says.

Check back often. I'm sure there will be lots of stuff in the coming days.


EDIE-ISMS 
The illogical musings of Edie Baby causing no small amount of angst, annoyance and insanity to yours truly.


Current favorite song/saying:

"Ain't nobody got time for that!"

Inspired by this gem:

"If you want to...":   Translation...  DO THIS NOW!
"Whenever you get the chance...":  Translation... DO THIS NOW!
"When you're ready...":  Translation... DO THIS NOW!

And don't dawdle!

Every time Edie Baby walks into a room or into an instance where people or dogs are awaiting...

"Here I am. Rock me like a hurricane."
Every. Single. Time.

Hurricane Katrina: Seemed appropriate

Over, over, over again...

Six minutes, SIX MINUTES after being picked up at the airport, my mother squawks at me...

"Oh I hate that lipstick!"
"Thank you. Six minutes...that must be a record."
"What, I can't have an opinion?"

Kill me now!

Driving home from the airport:

"Do you feel like the same old, same old?"

"What?"

"Do. You. Feel. Like. The. Same. Old. Same. Old?"

"Yes, I heard you the first time. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?????"

"Do you feel like eating the same thing we always eat?"

"I thought you did, that’s why I’m on this street."

"Yeah, but did you see the sign for the restaurant back there?"

(this was 10 minutes and about 6 miles earlier- after in-depth conversation about nothing.)

"Yes."

"Then you should know what I’m talking about."

I'm pretty sure I gave myself repetitive motion whiplash banging my head against the headrest.

Banging. My. Head. Over. And. Over.

Any Given Day

"That movie had it right."

"What movie?"

"The one with the British Guy."

No idea... your guess is as good as mine.

Or conversely:

"Remember that show with that guy?"

"No.Which show would that be?"

"It was in the sixties."

"That's about 20 years before I was born."

"So what? You should know it anyway."

Sitting there watching my mom sit there:

Me:  What are you doing?
Mom: Cogitating.
Me: Cogitating?
Mom: Yeah. Sitting here working up a crap.
Me: I don't think that's what that means.
Mom: Sure it does, I just made it up.

Nope...

cog·i·ta·tion

ˌkäjəˈtāSHən/

noun

1. 1.

   the action of thinking deeply about something; contemplation.

   "sorry, did I interrupt your cogitation?"

Kinda like mom's version better.