If It’s Tuesday, this must be Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogaoch: A travelogue
(Please don't ask me to pronounce that)
Greetings again!
After much pondering on how to go about writing this travelogue, for example, should I do just a post with a trip report? A separate food report? Stream of consciousness? I finally just decided to do a play by play experience report. I hope that you will agree this is the best way to go about it.
To my Vegan/Vegetarian/Tea Totaling/Fitness Specialist friends: Please be warned that there will be food and alcohol reports in this blog. I'm trusting that you will find it in your heart to forgive me and not rip my face off.
Where the hell are you going anyway?
For this travel experience, Edie Baby decided that she wanted to trek across Great Britain. We are no strangers to the British Isles, so it was a nice idea.
The plan was to start in England, go up to Scotland, back to England then on to Wales. Nice and easy, right?
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| The UK, yeah! Wooh! |
Departure Day:
Since I live in L.A., the most logical place to depart for an overseas journey was of course LAX.
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| Random pic of the LAX sign. |
I have to say I was greatly disappointed in learning that the airline we chose was not located in the newly renovated Tom Bradly International Terminal, but instead at it's bastard stepchild Terminal 2.
So instead of glass and pizzazz like this:
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| TBIT Renovation |
We get the boring old regular airport experience like this:
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| Terminal 2. Joy. |
Whatever the case, airports are airports, right? They all have the same smell. That being one of jet fuel, conveyor belts, dirty electronics, bad breath, and stale urine with a slight undercurrent of antiseptic all covered up with industrial air freshener. Then again, maybe that's just LAX.
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| Mmmm... tasty! |
And speaking of airports... and planes, and people in them...
At some point between New Orleans International and LAX, Edie Baby had contracted some type of disgusting ick divulging itself as a cold/flu issue. I have no doubt this was transferred through some type of screaming howler monkey child infecting the entire plane with noise pollution as well as killer germs. More about that later.
| Screaming Howler Monkey aka... child on plane. |
| The ICK! |
After being unceremoniously dropped off at the airport (LAX has a slow down and push out policy), we stood in line to go through security, pre- printed boarding passes in hand. This proved to be relatively easy as we had only our carry on bags. That is until we actually got to the security check point.
As stated in An Introduction (link here: An Introduction), Edie Baby is a germaphobe. No kidding, she has to remove her shoes and put hospital booties on to go through the security line.
"Hold my bag." The pink carry on bag is handed to me.
"Hold my coat." Big over coat dumped into my arms.
"Hold this bag." Big personal bag squeezed into my fingers. "Give me my booties." A shoe is untied and kicked off, bootie is attempted to be put on.
Teetering and losing balance. "HELP ME!"
"I can't, I have no more limbs!"
About seven people behind us cursed at that...
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| Seriously folks, I could't make this up if I tried. |
We made it through the check point more or less unscathed. Mom ran off, booties on feet to, I assume, put her real shoes back on. She comes running back because she forgot her pink case. This is all fine and good because her case was still with me as I tried to put myself back together after the going-over I received.
I don't mind the TSA. I really don't. People are working, which is a good thing. But c'mon... I've read accounts of cold war spies being interrogated by the KGB that sounded less annoying than this crap.
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| That's me exactly.
Upon my insistence, we then headed for the Virgin Atlantic Lounge. I'm not a snob, I just have no desire to catch the howler monkey ick.
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Now in the newly renovated TBIT One World Lounge run by Air New Zealand, you are thrust into a dreamlike state of relaxation. Titillated with the most decadent food and imbibed with free flowing alcohol. It claims to be an ultimate Utopia.
But alas... We're in Terminal 2...
Air France/KLM and Virgin Atlantic offer... um... this:
And this:
And let's not forget this:
Still, a lounge is a lounge. And to be honest, the lady at the desk was more than a little accommodating when my mom asked to purchase one of the wine glasses with the Mer-Lion, Kiju, Sea Monster-whatever on it (Air France's Logo evidently). So accommodating was she, that she got up, grabbed a glass and handed it to her. Gotta love that!
And also, I did enjoy and eggplant and hummus sandwich. Not too bad actually. I was pleased to see that there was a vegetarian option or two thrown in with the chicken salad and ham and cheese.
Air France/KLM and Virgin Atlantic offer... um... this:
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| Bar |
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| Full Bar offerings |
And this:
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| Food Offerings |
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| Cole' dranks |
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| Hot Dranks |
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| Super Chill Out Area |
| KAIJU! |
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| This is more than wishful thinking. I just forgot to take a picture of it... |
If you know me, you know that I am under a strict NDA policy with my night time day job. You might find amusing what I found waiting for me as I ambled about the lounge looking for ways to amuse myself.
I found this:
And, also if you know me, you know that I've often joked about being engaged to three of those 'Little Bastards' (Peter Jackson's term, not mine). Which is great because at least 1 of them is up for the duel citizenship thing. But if you're familiar with the Tolkien Tome, well... it might end up quite badly.
Here's an official pic of what I was seeing:
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| The Universe poking fun at me.
Before we boarded the plane, we called my dad. Mom informed him that she was quite ill and gave him a run down of everything that had happened that day up until that point. She then handed me the phone. The conversation went as follows...
"Hi baby."
"Hi dad."
"Your mom's sick, huh?"
"Yeah. She doesn't feel well."
"Well, God bless ya. Good luck with that."
Ah crap.
Geez, this was a long post. I promise not so long next time!
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