Greetings friends.
I have considered writing this blog for a long time but I have been saving it up for
something write-worthy,
I think I have found that event.
A few days from now, I will be embarking on a journey to rival both Bilbo and Frodo in size, scale and danger. Okay maybe taking my mom on a trek to England, Scotland and Wales won't be as dire as saving Middle Earth, but I defy anyone who has met my mother to not think of the journey as anything but dangerous. Mostly for myself as I will be in constant peril of either strangling her or taking an ice pick to my own gray matter.
Ice Pick To The Brain
Where We're Headed
http://www.visitwales.com/
http://www.visitengland.com/
http://www.visitscotland.com/
All About My Mother - Not Just A Great Play
If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting my mother, please allow me to make an introduction.
My mother"s given name is Edith, but usually goes by the moniker Edie Baby to those whom
have made her acquaintance. She can be sweet and fun loving, but only when the foot thick
veneer of germaphobia and social anxiety disorder are shattered - usually with a glass or two of wine.
And before you ask, I shan't be posting any photos of my mother here. I would never live it down, I would never be forgiven. Let's just say I FEAR THE WRATH that is Edie Baby.
I FEAR THE WRATH!
Hobbies
Her literary taste turns toward the standard cozy,which she devours at record breaking pace. Detective shows and silly sitcoms on television, horrible b-movies with monsters or zombies, James Bond, spy stuff, and anything on SyFy occupy her evening entertainment.
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| Reading Cozy Books |
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| Enjoying Monster Movies |
Music
Musically she is deeply ensconced somewhere in the decade of the 80's. Her current favorite is
some cat killing, hard rock, hairband wailer called Grimmstine. Opera, however, she considers suicide music. This is no problem as long as she is armed with her iPad Shuffle and earphones. I do have to nudge her from time to time to keep her from screeching along (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TURN IT DOWN!!!). Also not much of a problem unless we’re in public. This happens more often than you’d think. She has her own Theme Song and Ring Tone.
Yes this is genuine and all chosen by her.
Favorite Band
Supernatural by Grimmstine
Theme Song
Edie - Ciao Baby by The Cult
Ring Tone
I Don't Mind by Slade
Food
Food
To say she has a discerning palate would be a gross understatement. From what I understand, she was a vegetarian for many years. This seems to have gone by the wayside. Now, she eats chicken (white meat only, thank you very much), charred beef, fried pork, a few vegetables here and there, boring cheeses and absolutely no fish (shrimp and crawfish are acceptable as long as they are from the Gulf. Crabs are okay as long as they haven't been previously frozen). If a dish is new to her, I am her designated beef eater. If the meat has fat on it, she won’t eat it. If the chicken is dark meat, she won’t eat it. If the pork isn't dry to the point of jerky, she won’t eat it. Water is replaced with Diet Coke as a life sustaining beverage, only to be altered by morning coffee and an occasional tea. Pastries, cookies and cakes are all fair game.
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| Water is GROSS! |
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| Diet Coke Only! |
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| Meat has to be VERY WELL DONE, Nay CHARRED! |
| No interesting cheese here, thank you. |
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| Yes please! |
ABSOLUTELY NO FISH!
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Come Play!
In short, my mother is a small lady with a complex personality. She’s a character that doesn't exist in real life. I assure you, she does. Everyone loves her. I often want to kill her. This blog is my attempt to remain sane during this venture, while poking fun at myself. I invite you to join us.
What's The Point Again?
The purpose for this blog is several fold.
1) It is to function as a travelogue/trip report.- Screenwriting for the last few years has left my descriptive setting skills lacking. I hope to rectify that. I’ll do my best to keep the mindless adjectives at a minimum and get right to the point. I've never been good at journaling, but I will TRY to post often and with interesting content.
2) It is to function as a food blog.- To my vegetarian/vegan friends, please don’t hate me. To my foodie friends, I will do my best. Even putting my digestive system and fat cells at risk for your entertainment.
3) It is to function as an exercise log. Yeah, okay, that might not happen. But I will try.
4) Most importantly, it is to function as an outlet for my angst and annoyance so I don’t actually kill my mother. I can’t make any guarantees. As stated, Edie Baby is not a character that exists in the natural world. In fact, no one would believe it. I assure you, what is written is as true to life as I can convey (this last sentence is written with knowing anticipation).
I hope you will find this blog enjoyable. If any of my writer friends are inspired by what you read, let’s talk about collaboration.
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