Yay! Reservations booked. Itinerary set up. Confirmations printed. Now it's time for packing.
If you find that you've been following this blog, then you will know that packing is one of the things I find more or less interesting. This time is no different. Except more so. Because I will be taking another flight on a budget airline, my challenge has increased. EasyJet. It's like the demon spawn of Southwest and Spirit Airlines. EasyJet will allow you to bring a cabin bag. A cabin bag. That means you can have a handbag or a roller bag, but not both. And no, they don't care which. Even if you're a sick kid and need insulin, you have an extra bag, you're paying an extra amount. In this case, the extra amount is more than the price of the ticket. Let me say that again. To bring a bag, it's MORE THAN THE TICKET.
Challenge: Pack all crap in one roller bag.
Now, if I were just going to London for a quick jaunt, this really wouldn't be a problem. I'd be staying at a decent, and God willing, rat free hotel, wearing less than I had on the previous visits due to warmer weather and eating like a local. But no, this time Cannes is in the mix. What does that mean?
It means I have to bring nice clothes.
Cannes is... how to explain it... everything you've thought L.A. to be and then multiplied times infinity. It's superficial douchebaggery taken to the level of a religion. It's pathetic-role-your-eye people judging you in a nano second.
So, what does one do when faced with having to put all things and nice clothes into one tiny bag? I certainly can't bring my fantastic black SkyRoller bag. It's too big. No, I have to bring the small, hard, pink one. I also have to bring my dreamie sleep sack, shower shoes, at least 1 dress, decent day time clothes and heels. You wouldn't think that a pair of heels takes up a lot of room, but boy do they!
But that's not all. I also have to bring chargers, tablet compy, phones - 1 for US, 1 for UK, emergency med pack, various wipes, chemical arsenal etc, etc, etc. What does one do?
One looks on Ebay and finds this:
Awwww yeah. I'd been lusting after this baby for years. I found it brand new with tags on Ebay for 1/3 off and in black! Woooooot!!!!
That's right! Read it and weep. 18 pockets of super spy-esque goodness. What can I say? I like pockets.
Since I'd be in the Valley of the Carbs, (i.e. France), my irrational brain also thought it would be a good idea to bring my own food. Don't laugh. I'd done it time and time again. I can't count how many times I snuck an Meal Ready to Eat pack in my bag. Believe me... it's saved not only my rear, but other's too. On more than one occasion no less. (Just ask my palls I gave a few to to bring to India. They thought they were a God send.) So I tried it. I stuck an MRE in my bag. Since it's a carry on only, I couldn't open it - due to the chemical nature of the heating element. The MRE, even just one took up massive amounts of space. Space I couldn't spare. Disappointing. Those things really come in handy. Try it next time.
No problem, go to plan B. Bars!
You can live off of bars. Protein bars, energy bars, candy bars... it's not the most healthy of diets, but it'll due in a pinch. That's what they put in 3 day emergency earthquake packs. Given the expensive alternative, why not?
Why stop there? Why not bring my own tea? Why not bring my own coffee? It will save space in the long run, right? RIGHT? DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!
Here is my food pack:
WTF??? Yeah, it's okay. You can say it. Most of this stuff I had laying around. In this motley crew you'll find: Mini protein bars, mini fruit and nut bars, tea mix, cocoa mix, all-in-one coffee mix, extra coffee mate, fruit strips, oatmeal and powdered peanut butter. Yes, you read that right. Powdered peanut butter in regular and chocolate. And powdered berries. Not too bad actually. I could probably survive a natural disaster with this.
And since I'll be actually walking around and, yes, unfortunately, talking to people, I need a bag. At least a small one. I didn't think my Ameribag would fit into the rollerbag, so I dug through my closet and came up with something like this:
I purchased one similar to this years ago, second, third or fourth hand off of the beloved Ebay. I hadn't used it in a while, and since it fit right in with the type of jackass wannabe people I'll be around, I thought it was perfect. It also packed nicely. I also needed a slightly bigger bag just in case, so I packed my bag with this logo: Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Plus it folded completely flat so it was fine.
Also, in went a few nice blouses, a couple of pair of tights/leggings, a wrinkle-free knit dress and a pair of rubber 3 inch heels. I was good to go!
Ah, but I will be taking a class, and therefore need to bring my portfolio. In this is stuffed my notes and various paraphernalia of my trade. I love my portfolio. I got it for free at a convention, but it's perfect for me.
It looks like this:
In it also goes all of my confirmation codes, boarding passes, train tickets, maps, travelling instructions, class notes, headshots, various contact information, etc.
I promise, more funny to come...
