Turkey Day!

It's Thanksgiving back in the States. Our plans were to go to Stonehenge and eat a place called the Haunch of Venison. WERE.

                                       Cute place, right?

Moms had previously booked us on a small tour to get up there. As in up in Wiltshire.

The paperwork we got said to be at the meeting point - not far from where we were staying at 6:00 am. With the condition that tours were 1 hour later in the WINTER MONTHS. Repeated emails were sent to the company. None of them answered. What to do? All the arrows on all of OUR documentation listed 7:00. SEVEN!!!!!

We were early, so we wandered around the area and crawled into a Pret. They don't sell Diet Coke there, so I was sent on a mission to obtain a couple. Which I did from a local grocery. After using the restroom at the Pret, we make our way to the front of the Museum, the designated pick up point.
 

We get there at 7:00. And wait... and wait... and wait. Finally mom calls. The tour left at 6:00. 

I'll spare you the gory details of us arguing with the guy on the phone in freezing rain. Well crap. Absolute crap. What do we do now?

We hobbled back to the hotel.  Cold, wet and really, really annoyed, mom continues the phone assault on the tour company. Several hours and about thirteen million passes of the phone from person to person later, the problem was found. It seems our tour was booked through an outside company that had wrong information on their site. The actual tour company apologized for the many, many unanswered emails and did admit fault on that issue. The money was to be returned to the account from whence it came. Which was good because it wasn't a small amount.

Well, now what? We have this whole day free. What to do? 

The Crypt Keeper... from the '80s.

We'd planned to make a trek to St. Martin-in-the-Fields to do brass rubbings. Now, when I was a little girl, we did some brass rubbings at the big Cathedral. That was fun if memory serves. However, after years and years of people rubbing, the nubs on the brass plates were wearing out. The whole operation was then moved to St. Martins-in-the-Field. Which is a church on one side of Trafalgar Square. There's a big ole crypt there. Yeah, as in a crypt, crypt. As in a bunch of dead and buried people. And you can have lunch and tea there if you like.

We liked. We really did. We weren't actually invited by this dude, but it's a nice thought.

We did have lunch though.

The Crypt.

 

Mom had a nice soup and I had a flat thing of some type of veggie.
I also had something called a 'Curious Cola'. It was curious all right, curiously DISGUSTING!  I know, rare for me to say things are nasty, but that's the truth of it.

Mom enjoyed her soup with a Diet Coke, big surprise. We were early, rather close to when the place opened at 10:00. It's a good thing too, because man, oh man, around 11:00 that place filled up with a bunch of people. A bunch of OLD people. 

I'm really struggling to not make a joke about old people having lunch in a crypt. Trying really, really hard...  

Clarice

Anyway, after lunch we did do some brass rubbings. Well, we each did one. We ended up picking the same one. I chose the dragon because it reminded me of Clarice when she yawns.

Brass Rubbing

 Can you see the resemblance?
I'm not sure why momster chose it. I do know she did her dragon in a bluish color. Please excuse my lack of artistic creativity.
I tried though.

We took a taxi back to the hotel. It was around 1:30 in the afternoon and after having an eventful morning, a nap seemed like a good idea.


A few hours later, Hagi raised herself from her metaphorical dead. What to do? It was around 3:00 give or take. Too late to make arrangements for anything, too early to call it a night. We started out to do some shopping. I had a brilliant idea. Why not go to tea at Fortnum and Masons? It was one thing I insisted upon during the planning process. Miraculously, She Who Must agreed.

We took a taxi to Fortnum's because I had no idea how to get there. Chances were it was a couple of tube rides and mom wasn't up to a bunch of stairs.

We roll up in a taxi at 4:00 ish. Up we go to the top floor. We were greeted by an attendant. We didn't have a reservation, so we had to make one in person. There weren't any spaces available until 5:30 or 5:45. Okay, fine, we'll take that.

We went downstairs to shop. Fortnum's is a beautiful store. Filled with completely useless items.

<-----   I rest my case.

We had a while to kill and in the basement we came upon a wine bar. A wine bar can be a dangerous place. Oh well. In we go. We were seated in the corner near the kitchen. I don't even want to think why that was. I'm hoping it just happened that way. They had free wi-fi, and having a smart phone, I took advantage of it. I surfed for a minute or two. I was able to make a reservation for the tea room online for 30 minutes earlier. Huh. Funny how that works.

Our host gave us menus and let us taste a couple of wines. Blah. We got a sommelier over to the table. He was a nice guy with an indecipherable accent and made several recommendations. 

Okay... up until this point I have been skipping over the fact that Momster is a woman of a certain age. She has reached that time in her life where she is old enough to say what she wants when she wants and to hell with everything else. I don't know when this happened, but believe me, she is RELISHING it. Do you remember the old lady on the Golden Girls? Yeah, like that. Usually with me within earshot. Sometimes I swear she's trying to traumatize me for sport. 

The waiter dude gave us recommendations in his indistinguishable accent. I say that because I can usually tell. Not this time. Anyway, he offers us oysters from France. Mom flippantly lets him know she wouldn't eat anything from France, much less oysters. I had to physically stop myself from kicking her in one of her busted ankles. Thankfully he didn't really understand and upon further interrogation it was revealed that he was from Hungary.
Long story short, we had 2 glasses of wine. A cheap sweet wine whose name I forgot. But it was tasty.

At our new, internet assigned, designated time, we take the lift up to the top floor for our tea. Yes, okay, I admit, I was tipsy. Can't speak for momster, but I'm guessing she was too. We were shown to our table and I was forced to remove my hat. Evidently no one is allowed to wear a hat in the tea room. Or maybe just the Queen.  Whateves.

Mom was asked what kind of tea she wanted. She didn't know. The waiter asked her what she usually drank so he could make some suggestions. Hahahahha. Mom found this insulting. I don't know why. I stopped asking questions at this point. She ordered the sweet tea, I ordered the savory one. I did this purely because I knew it would gross her out.

Mmmmm.... Yeah... deviled egg and scones with salmon. Yummy yum. Mom gagged. Objective complete.

It was at this time that Hagi said to me... "Remember that time on Star Trek with the guy..." I looked at her, mouth agape, then burst into laughter. It was one of those uncontrollable laughters that don't end. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. Tears, in the most elegant of all tea rooms. Here was I making a spectacle of myself. Even with water resistant mascara I was doing a pretty good Alice Cooper impression. (See what I did there, sticking with the '80's theme?)  I couldn't help it. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. I still don't. 

We ate until we couldn't. Sweet scones and cakes eaten by mom, everything else consumed by me. All I can say is thank God I'm not gluten intolerant.

We got our left overs packed in elegant blue boxes. I made sure we got some extra lemon curd too. I do love, love, love that curd. We grabbed a cab back to the hotel.

I rolled into bed in extreme over indulgent pain. 

This was our first whole day.





 

 

Arrive'!

We had only a few minutes to wait at the gate. Mom, of course had to run to the restroom. So, there I was waiting with the luggage as we're boarding. First class goes in. Special needs people go in. Here is me at the gate like a gate louse with luggage. Business class goes in... economy is called... and here, finally, here she comes barreling her way through the line to catch up to me.

We show the attendant our tickets and identification and make our way down the gangway.

I got the window seat so mom could have easy access to the lavs. This time we chose to sit on the right side of the plane. I think I've fallen in love with the right side of the plane. It's the right side of the plane that was so glorious when I had a bum ankle and a free row. And this time? Ah yes... blissful silence. Narry a screaming brat to be heard, endured or smelled. 

The flight attendant came around and offered juice, water or sparkling wine. Seriously? Need you ask? I sucked that down so fast. It went nicely with the wine spritzers I'd had in the lounge after my Baily's martini. Momster enjoyed hers too.

 Admittedly, I was a little tipsy when I took the photo of the menu. And if one were to be honest, I can't even remember what it was I ate. But I can try to figure it out.

I believe this was the eggplant entre. I do love a good eggplant. I have to mention that I did NOT consume the bottle of wine. Nor did mom consume hers. This will be important later on, so keep that in mind.

Mom had the beef and potato thing. I believe you're seeing the remnants of a rum and diet coke there as well. Note the bottle of wine sitting there in all of its
innocence.


After the food service and if I can still remember through the fog, an after dinner aperitif, I took a small nibble off a sleeping pill and fell asleep for a while. During this blissful (as mom would put it) 'better living through chemistry' event, I have no idea what Haggi did.

Hours and hours later as we were going beginning our initial descent, breakfast was served!

 Full English Breakfast (meatless) with some kind of juice and a blueberry muffin.

Mom got the Bacon and Eggs with potatoes. If memory serves, I ate all the eggs and veggies  and mom got the rest. I think the muffins were tucked in a pocket and saved for later.

We deplaned - what a stupid word- and headed through customs. "Why are you here? What are you going to do" Blah, blah blah. Neither of us mentioned that we may take a trek elsewhere whilst visiting the UK, but that's for another post. They let us through and we went merrily on our way. To another restroom.

After the pit stop, since I had found out how to get around without paying exorbitant fees to the Heathrow Express or a taxi, we went to the tube.

Our next stop was our favorite hotel in Bloomsbury, so we only had one train to take. The Piccadilly line. It was still early when we checked in and our room wasn't finished being cleaned. Our luck held out... UPGRADE!  We were treated to a nicer room with a fridge.
Free high speed internet, sparkling and still water and a giant Kit Kat.

 

Mom was in hog's heaven. It really was a great room. A Holiday Inn room, so it was great for that, but a great room whatever the case.

After a nice nap, we decided to hit up the local shops and get the goods we couldn't bring with us. In my case this was decaffeinated tea, for mom it was some kind of gummy bears and diet coke. Since we had a fridge, it was convenient.

This being the day before Thanksgiving. It was cold. Yes, It was cold. 

Knowing the area, we had dinner at our place. Our favorite place. Yep you guessed it.

Being predictable as ever, here is our dinner:
I got the eggplant and goat cheese burger (much to momster's chagrin). And mom got the burger, burger. We shared some fries.

 After the din din, we hobbled back to the hotel room to make use of the high speed internet so mom could call the doggies via Skype.
Dad chased Agatha around with the camera, she was not amused. Beatrix and Camellia were more than happy to say hello.

Not off to a bad start. But alas... the trip is young.

Time to go!

Planning, planning, planning... reservations, reservations, blah, blah, blah... I'll spare you the boring part and get to the goods.


Before I agreed to this trek, I had a 10 Commandments of Travel created:

1) Thou Shalt Not Get Sick on the Voyage.
2) Thou Shalt Not Get Injured on the Voyage.
3) Thou Shalt Not Pester your traveling partner on Voyage.
4) Thou Shalt Not Annoy your traveling partner on Voyage.
5)...

You get the point.
These were agreed to with a "Yeah, right."

You'll see how well that worked...

Tuesday before Thanksgiving, arrives on a morning flight. We spent that day getting haircuts and what not. That evening, mom gets an email from her credit card company that a charge has been placed from Amazon Marketplace on her credit card.

Okay, I get it. You get a weird charge, you want to find out what it was. Hours on the phone. HOURS! My mom wanted the company to delete that charge - since it was obviously fraudulent - but NOT to cancel her card. It was the card all of her reservations and hold fees were on for the trip. This caused a really, REALLY, nasty problem. Also, this can't be done. It is the policy of all credit cards that one fraudulent charge shows up, the card is cancelled and a new one is dispatched. Kinda hard when one is going to be up in the air the next day. After a ton and a half of torment, the charge was forgotten in hopes that nothing bad would happen until we get back. Let's just say this review was a considerable TONED DOWN version of what actually transpired.

That night passed very uneasily, but at least we made sure the Skype was working and mom got to see her dogs.

 In the morning, final preparations were made, final items packed, kisses given to beasties, and we were shuttled off to the airport.

Now, I don't care what anyone says. When I write my book on 'How to travel with Seniors without committing Murder' (or something like that), my first rule now and forever will be:
SPEND THE MONEY ON A LOUNGE!

As mentioned in a previous post, the buy-in lounge we went to on a past voyage was closed. Knowing this and desperate to avoid having to spend any amount of time in the Ebola infested airport gates, I looked into Priority Pass.

 In a nutshell, you pay a yearly fee (they offer discounts from time to time), and you pay a discounted rate when you get to the lounge itself. Since I knew this was only way to get into a lounge in Terminal 2 of LAX, I gladly shelled out the moola for the privilege.

So, there we were. The Maple Leaf Lounge in Terminal 2 of LAX. 

 NOT LAX's Air Canada Lounge, but you get the point.

 The bar in the lounge.
Nice cold sodas, open bottles of spirits, hot tea and a coffee machine.


A nice salad and soup bar with chips and other interesting things.

Our beverage selection. Mom: Rum and Diet Sprite. Me: Baily's and Ice.


Me: Italian wedding soup (which mom thought looked horrendous) with veggies and humous.

Mom: Cheese and bread.

I had planned to complete my test for my online class in the lounge. After all they promised wi-fi. Of course this didn't actually work. I failed miserably. I don't know what I was thinking to try to complete an online course whilst traveling. Note to self- this does not work.

A couple of hours later, we were ready to brave the germs and head down to the gate.

"Awwww."
"What?"  
"I forgot to get a glass from the place like I did last time."
Sigh....

Yes, yes I did. I went back inside, acted like I was looking for my mom's cell phone and pilfered a glass.

 
I'll end here for the moment.

Planning is the Funnest Part?

 

What to do? What to do?

As I've mentioned previously, every idea I'd had was nixed before it began. Except (thankfully) tea at Fortnum and Masons. That was non-negotiable.

Shows? Nope!

Spas? Nope!

What then????

"Do you want to go to Brugge?"  "Brugge? You know we'll be going in late November and December, right?"                                    "So what?"                                                  "So it's going to be COLD!"                       "So what? I got a new coat. One like yours. The spy one. Hope you don't mind being twins."

In case you forgot, the spy coat is this:

 Granted, not the most flattering nor warmest of jackets, but it has a ton of pockets and it's great for traveling.

So, Brugge it was to be. Along with a couple of other excursions to be visited in future posts. 

I put in for the time off, and it got approved. We were set. 

"I have to change the flights. It's not working out."

"Okay."

"So... we'll leave on the 26th and come back on the 9th instead of 7th, okay?"

"Works for me, I gues."

Famous last words on my part.

To be continued...